Political Star Trek - UN Decolonisation of Puerto Rico

In "I Mudd," a classic episode of the Original Star Trek series, a new officer named Lt. Norman, who is really an alien android, takes the U.S.S. Enterprise to an uncharted planet of androids. Captain Kirk and the Enterprise officers confuse the androids by behaving illogically, and are able to regain control of the Enterprise.

The finishing blow for the androids comes when Harcourt Fenton 'Harry' Mudd and Kirk pose Norman the Liar paradox, where Mudd claims he is lying and Kirk claims everything Mudd says is a lie. Short circuiting at this imponderable logical contradiction, Norman finally shuts down. The classic line goes:

Norman: "You say you are lying, but if everything you say is a lie, then you are telling the truth. But you cannot tell the truth, because everything you say is a lie. But... you lie... you tell the truth but you cannot, for you lie."

After the weeks of listening to the status issue surrounding the Democratic primary in Puerto Rico, years of hearing about status from all sides (including participating in several plebiscite votes), to the recent testimony before the (and I'm not making this up) Special Committee on the Situation with Regard to the Implementation of the Declaration on the Granting of Independence to Colonial Countries and Peoples by Governor Anibal Acevedo Vila and subsequent resolution from that committee, I've come to one conclusion.

The Popular Independence Party, the Popular Democratic Party, and the recently converted Governor Acevedo Vila, are all engaged in a reenactment of "I, Mudd," where the government of the United States is playing the role of the androids, and for special dramatic affect, a majority of the citizens of Puerto Rico as well.

Here in bullet form is a list of the illogical statements and positions that drive the debate surrounding the issue of Puerto Rico's status:

• Ability to self-determine - If, at best, you can say that the results of all previous plebiscite votes indicate that the Puerto Rican people are mixed, weren't these attempts to self-determine? Disclaimer: Some claim that these were meaningless votes because they did not carry Congressional backing. (You say you want to self determine, but when given a chance to self-determine, you can't to determine.)
  
• Ability to self-govern - On July 10, 2005, Puerto Rican voters approved the change to a unicameral legislature by 456,267 votes in favor, versus 88,720 against. However, Puerto Rico legislators have resisted implementing the will of the people. Assuming self-government means a democratic society, if our government currently doesn't respect the will of the people, how will sovereignty change that? (You say you want to self govern, but when the people attempt to self-govern, the government doesn't want to.)
• Ability to conduct trade - Many people claim that the U.S. limits Puerto Rico's ability to conduct trade with other countries. But what are the products that we have to conduct trade with? We produce coffee, sugarcane, pineapple, and many a few other agricultural products. We have no natural resources (oil, diamonds, copper, etc). With no natural resources to draw from, we only have a hand full of companies that produce products (as opposed to provide services, which in all fairness is emerging as the new basis for international trade). (You say you want to conduct trade, but you have nothing to trade.)

And here a few more that illustrate individual actions or positions that demonstrate more illogic:

• Free association, sovereignty with free association, or independence - In the past year Governor Acevedo Vila has publicly supported all three of these positions. And of course, the position depends on whether he is asking for more money form the U.S., defending himself from federal charges, or seeking re-election.
  
• Sovereignty with free association - This is just a fancy way of saying, just give us all the money that you are currently giving us and, thank you very much, we'll take it from there.
• Economic capability - What happens to Puerto Rico's economy with the disappearance of tens of billions received in federal aid? Without any trade to speak of, how does the economy support 4 million people? (You say you want economic independence, but you have no economy.)
  
• Nationalism - Some people say that they want Puerto Rico to be free, independent, a nation of Puerto Ricans, because this would allow us to represent ourselves in the Olympics, International B3eauty Contests, etc. But we already have those things. (You say you want something, but you already have it.)
• Independence or Statehood - The ultimate self-determination is a choice between becoming independent or joining the Unites States. However, whenever polled or asked, given all of the above, the consensus is Statehood would win, mostly because the millions of people who are dependent on federal aid would choose to continuing receiving that aid. (So you say you want to vote so you can become independent, but the overwhelming majority believe you will lose the vote.)

No wonder everyone is so confused about Puerto Rico status. I know I am.

Me: "You say you want something, but don't really want it, then you don't really want it. But if you don't really want it, why would you say you really want it. But ... you don't want it... you say you want it. You want it and don't really want it."

I would like to commend two resources that I found while researching this article. First, if you want the real skinny on the whole UN bruhaha, check out this new blog that I found, the Overseas Territories Review, and this article. And if you want to read the most lucid description of what this whole monkey business is really about, then read this article "REAL SOVEREIGNTY FOR PUERTO RICO" by Dr. William Cleary, former assistant attorney general for the Government of Guam.

Hillary Clinton Wins Democratic Primary in Puerto Rico

With 15% of the precincts already reporting, Hillary Clinton is projected to win the historic Democratic primary in Puerto Rico. Leading by more than a two to one advantage, Clinton will win the majority of the 55 delegates available in Puerto Rico.

Of course the Clinton campaign is hoping that she will win the primary with more than 65% and that the turnout will exceed 2 million voters. While the final tally could exceed 65%, the Puerto Rico turn out will not be anywhere near that high. First because local election officials have admitted that they only printed 1.5 million ballots. And second, most estimates expect between 325,000 and half a million votes cast.

When I stopped by to vote this afternoon, there was hardly anyone. In the 14 years I've been here this was the least crowded I've seen a voting station. Even the poor turn-out for the past two New Progressive Party primaries or the vote for One Chamber weren't this small. So I'd put the turn out towards the lower end of the estimate, maybe somewhere around 325,000.

I, for one, will be glad to see the spotlight of the Puerto Rico Democratic Primary quickly slide into the history books. I think it's done nothing but stir up a lot of dust which I hope will be swept away as rapidly as possible. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to have a say in the Democratic candidate election process, but it's raised up the same old issues of status, self-determination, colonialism, and anti-Federal sentiments.

As I've mentioned before, even after all of the analysis, opinion, resentment, and criticism that has been heard, seen, and read leading up to this historic vote, none of it addresses the extreme complexity of the status issue and I, for one, am tired of hearing simplistic pronouncements about how to solve it. Furthermore, I believe that there is such a powerful "illusion" that surrounds Puerto Rico's status, that it prevents anyone from speaking about or addressing the "reality" of the situation. Which is a mixture of pointless nationalism, hypocrisy, and lies.

Flickr Creative Commons Contributor Today: kakissel

Herbal Solutions to Puerto Rico's Economy

Ever since the Federal Reserve Board produced a report that detailed the economic woes of Puerto Rico, I've been getting a pretty steady steam of news stories sharing that information. Like, from here, here, and here, to share just a few. Of course, for those of us that actually live here, we didn't need the Federal Reserve Board to tell us things are bad here. With another raise in the price of milk, the recent rise in the price of rice (a staple for most Puerto Rican families), and the root of evil, the rising price of gasoline; believe me, we know things are bad all too well.

So it was with curiosity and a self-centered hope that someone had a vision to help, that this week I read an editorial from Rogelio Figueroa, the President of the newly formed Puerto Ricans for Puerto Rico. In the editorial, entitled "The Best Economic Tool", he shared his answer to our economic problems. For those of you that might not be aware of this, Figueroa is a candidate for Governor of Puerto Rico in the upcoming November elections.

What I learned from the article, which came as a surprise to me, was that Figueroa seems to be part of the Rastafari movement. Yes, often times the religious inclinations of a political candidates can enter into the public eye, through very unintended actions or statements. Such is this case with Figueroa. Why do I think that he might be a Rastafari?

Well after the reading the editorial, he must be smoking something to believe that creating separate and exclusive lanes for a new fleet of buses to use on our highways will make a significant impact on our economy. Yeah, he has a vision all right, but I'm afraid it is a psychoactive filled set of hallucinations. I mean don't get me, wrong, it's not that his ideas are bad ones, like the drug that inspires the Rastafari, they are just a little too flowery and difficult to accept for the majority of people. Sure I'd like to see a significantly improved and accepted public transportation system. Sure I want the Autoridad de Energia Electrica to produce magnitudes more electricity from renewable sources, and sure I'd love to be able to deduct my mortgage payment completely from my planilla. But call me a pessimist, but those solutions seem unworkable in the Puerto Rico I've come to understand in these last 14 years.

He did propose one thing that got me thinking: tourism. Now stay with me here, I'm thinking outside of the box. Now if we accept that Figueroa might be a Rastafarian, there may be a way to explode the tourism industry here in Puerto Rico. And as is customary here amongst the economic development community, I'm going to use another country to illustrate how this idea can work. In this case, I'm thinking of Amsterdam, Holland, which is known to attract a lot of tourists to its "red light district." This idea will also prop up the local agricultural community at the same time.

So what if we decriminalize marijuana and make it legal to sell and consume in Puerto Rico. We get local farmers to use the perfect habitat that we have in Puerto Rico to grow the finest herb in the world, and then sell it in "coffee" shops. This will have the secondary effect of significantly reducing the drug trafficking of marijuana and cause crime and plummet.

I'd like to thank Figueroa for connecting the dots for me. If it wasn't for his hallucinatory rantings I would have never had the inspiration for this controversial economic development proposal. And inspiration, after all, is what we want most of our leaders, so kudos Mr. Figueroa. Kudos, indeed! Now, I wonder if he'd also turn me on to his connection, because he's definitely got it hooked up on some stink weed.

Flickr Creative Commons Contributors Today: Eric Caballero and Simon Davison

Slick Willie is coming back to Puerto Rico

As most people know by now, the campaign for the Democratic nomination for President is a historic event. Not just because the winner will be a historic first, but for another unusual reason. For many states, this is the first time in a long time that their vote will actually matter. In many presidential races in the past, the contest has been determined early and the primaries scheduled late in the season have not usually been necessary. So it is with Indiana, who will go to to the polls on May 6th, and Kentucky, who will vote on May 20th. But probably even more unusual and maybe even shocking, even for me, was when the news broke that the territories get to vote in the primaries, even though we don't get to vote in the main elections.

So with 63 delegates on the line, Puerto Rico will hold a primary on June 1st. At this time, I'm not even sure who can vote, where to vote, or when we will know the answers to any of these questions. But what we do know is that both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are both anxious to add those delegates to their numbers, and hopefully put them over the top to cement the nomination. With that in mind, both candidates have announced that they will both be campaigning here. The first to announce a solid date for the campaigning to begin was Hillary Clinton, when it was announced that President Bill Clinton would visit the island on April 6th and 7th to campaign for his wife.

The first public appearance that has been announced for President Clinton is the World Class Speakers program for the Puerto Rico Manufacturers Association (PRMA). On Sunday, April 6th, President Clinton will speak about economic development issues at the Hotel Condado Plaza. Registration begins at 7:00 p.m. and tickets are $164.50 for PRMA members, $214 for for non-members, and $80.25 for students. All of these prices include IVU. For reservations, sponsorship opportunities, and additional informaiton contact (787) 641-4653.

Flickr Creative Commons Contributor Today:By TopTechWriter.US

Fear and Loathing in Puerto Rico

Today, I'm going to try something a little bit different. Lately I've been feeling a presence. A spirit, loafing around my keyboard urging me to put my fingers on to the keys. It's making me go to read more and more news stories about the case against Governor Anibal Acevedo Vila. It's gotten to the point were I just can't resist anymore. But I think I know who it might be, so I'm going to go on a hunch here. I'm going to just let go and let it (him) take over. So here goes nothing....

....Well I should be in the mood for this now. I've finished most of a bottle of Wild Turkey and as I'm trying to light these candles around my computer, the lighter seems to swim before my face. Now let's just flick off the lights and I should be just about set. Oh yeah, and I can't forget the magical mantra "Fear and Loathing". Repeat it with me "Fear and Loathing in San Juan." Holy crap what's happening? The candles all just went out with a sudden gust of wind, now where did I set down that lighter?

Ho ho. Hey all you rubes I'm back. And I got to say, not a minute too late. Well, well, look who's joined the big leagues. Way back, I knew there was something magical about this place, or that might have been all of the mushrooms that the locals were always feeding me. A steady stream of offerings from the locals. It made me think that I was a King, or was I a God in their eyes?

So with memories of dancing lizards and vivid golden calves melting into the sunrise off of the Isla Verde coast, I'm back in Puerto Rico. So who would of thought it possible? Nearly 50 years after my departure, Puerto Rico, the subject of my great discontent, would grow up to become involved in a major political corruption scandal. Well let's cut to the chase people. Be afraid Puerto Rico. Hunter S. Thompson is here, and know this! This is going to get very strange. And I wouldn't be surprised if a few virgins soon go missing. There will be sacrifices necessary from all sides and great strangeness, on a scale never before seen, is coming. So don't let your kids out of your sight. Lock them up at night and bolt all of the doors and windows.

Yes, things are about to get really strange. I can see it now. Brother hating brother. Fathers disowning their children, wild nasty craziness that gets blood spilled into the street. Enough blood to sweep away the garbage that will left behind as the country decays into first civil unrest and then civil disturbance, and only then will the National Guard be able to keep things barely under control. But not first without them splitting open a few heads, smashing a few noses, and filling up many emergency rooms with their fellow countrymen who were only guilty of being in the wrong place at the right time. Only if the Marines return and establish Ocean Park as the new Vieques will this one avoid becoming civil war.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. Mahalo. This one's going all the way. But who could blame them. Only global domination is a sport more deadly then politics, and this one has been rigged to get out of control fast. Both sides have been chumming the water with sliced up puppies and kittens. And as they float and bob, the political sharks on both sides are starting to chew and gnaw on anything that moves. In a massive avalanche of text messages and Blackberry messaging, with sore and bleeding thumbs, alliances are being negotiated, children are being offered, bribes are flying across the airwaves in wild eyed attempts to save their asses, their careers, their fortunes. Deals are being cut, the weak are surrendering, and the sacrificial lambs are being purified. The only thing left to see is who will be left standing to take the fall, and believe it brother, some one will have to pay.

.... And with a weird taste of nicotine, wild turkey and psilocybin on my tongue, I wake up with unexplained bruises and scars up and done my forearms as if I've been beaten by a nightstick, I'm back. But as I sit with a throbbing head amongst the carnage that is my office I have the strangest feeling this essence isn't done with me yet.

Ding Dong, stupid is dead, Milhouse for Governor!

In a surprise result, ex-Governor Pedro Rossello was defeated by Luis "Milhouse" Fortuño in the New Progressive Party's 2008 Primary for Governor. Milhouse, shown here, can been see celebrating with his wife and daughter.

For many, Milhouses's victory marks the end of a combative and derisive era in the NPP party lead by the ex Governor Rossello. With his defeat, Rossello has already ceded the presidency of the NPP and is rumored to resign as Senator. Rumor also has it that Rossello has already left the island, to which I say good riddance. Let the healing begin.

So goes a nation

I often look to parallels between what happens in the United States and what eventually happens in Puerto Rico. This applies technologically, as well as culturally. So your wondering .... is there any precedent for having a Simpson's character as a governmental leader? Boy is there ever! Just repeat after me. Beeeeer! Yes, when you get right down to it, haven't been suffering through the Homer administration for the past 7 years? A gasp is heard throughout the land! The crowd collectively says: "But look how bad of a job Homer has done in the United States, is this what we can look forward to from Milhouse?" Good question.

In an excerpt from Wikipedia, which is scarily prescient:

"Despite being considered a nerd, Milhouse is of average intelligence but has poor social skills. He is also very gullible, thus he is constantly led into trouble by the mischievous Bart, who is not shy about taking advantage of his naive and trusting friend. Homer is often heard calling him "Bart's weird friend" or "that little wiener"."

Which brings up a couple of intrgueing questions. First, who is Milhouse's friend that will lead him into trouble? And second, is "Let's put a little wiener in the Forteleza" a good campaign slogan? In the end, we'll see if Milhouse is victorious in gaining office and if so, (which my early prediction sees happening) we'll see how much damage a lactose intolerant, Italian speaking, and skilled Vespa rider can do.